http://youtu.be/kJhHXW_OssI
let me know if it doesn't work. Funny thing is that after we stopped recording, she was still in awe and couldn't believe it. She finally asked us..."it's mine?" She just couldn't believe her wish had come true. She had been praying for this "surprise" for a while and we decided to give in. Now I'm not so sure...but she loves it!
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
What Christmas means to me (2011)
Christ – He has never failed me. I know I have failed him many many times. Too many to count. But somehow, for some reason, things always work out for me. I KNOW Christ is the reason. Many times when I get anxiety, don’t feel like things are going well, fell in the depths of despair, I always know that He will send something my way to make me remember who I am and remember that he is at the Helm. A life without a belief in Christ for me, would be very lonely. I spend much of my day “talking” to Him in my head, in my heart, out loud in my car. He brings me comfort, he heals my soul.
Home – I love being home. It is no wonder that I am a bit of a hermit. I love just being able to be home and keep my house clean, curl up on the couch and watch a good movie, or read a good book, cuddle with Aspen, or just sitting staring out the window. There are not many places I feel like I can just be me. Not many places where I can feel like no one is judging me. Not many places where I just feel peace. Home was a great place to be this Christmas. Aspen and I spent most of the weekend at home and enjoyed our time together. I took 3 days off work just to be able to be home. (Don’t get me wrong…it WAS Christmas afterall, we did go places, and shopping, but the moment we could, we spent at home and I loved it!)
Rest, Rejuvenate, Remember – I didn’t get as much rest as I wanted to, but I DID rest from work. I didn’t touch anything that even resembled work from Thursday on, I didn’t check emails, I hardly checked facebook. I let my brain rest and read the Hunger Games series (very good). I feel slightly rejuvenated. Being away from work was the best thing for me this Christmas. It’s been much too much of a downer for me lately. I spent what time I was able to remembering my dad, remembering past family Christmas’ and trying to make memories of this Christmas. The best memory I want to hold onto this Christmas was Aspen opening up her Christmas gift ( I will try to upload a video for all to see).
Ideas – I had so many ideas of things I wanted to do for Christmas, sadly the only one that got done was the Christmas shopping and spending time at home with Aspen watching Christmas movies. I wanted to have this book I have been working on for my family done by Christmas. I have gathered stories about my dad, photos, stories my mom told me of their courtship, and years together, any letters I can find that he wrote, journal entries, anything having to do with my dad and I put it all together in a book (or at least I’m working on doing that) and I was going to have them ready for my family to purchase for Christmas, but I didn’t get it done. That’s ok, no reason to rush something so special. I also wanted to see Temple Square this year. We have been so busy it just didn’t happen. And Sunday came and went and by the time we got home to get ready for church from families Christmas morning, we missed our ward. I was sad to not make it to church on Christmas Sunday especially. But I did spend some much needed time with Aspen and Ashton.
School – Starts back up in 2 weeks, and though I am not looking forward to it, I’m looking forward to being done. I will be finished with all but one class by this time next year. Too bad I took this last semester off or I would be FINISHED by fall! I would have gone crazy trying to work the hours I did and do school. Ashton finishes school this next semester (unless he decides to go back for his masters) we couldn’t be more happy to have this school thing coming to an end. The end is in sight – at least for now. :0)
Temple, treats, time – I am working really hard at putting aside one day a month (I know it’s not a lot!) to go to the temple. I need to be there. I feel a loss when I am not attending. My New Years goal is to at least get my butt there once a month this next year if not more. I need the blessings it will bring to my life. I plan to set aside treats more this year and eat healthier. I feel better, my family feels better, and we all look better. We will have to find a way to make healthy treats. I hope to make more time for things that matter. Spending time with my family, time getting to know myself, time watching Aspen grow instead of missing it, time improving my talents, time sitting quietly and reflecting. Time goes so quickly and before I know it, I’ve ran out of it and all my good intentions, all my plans go to naught. I need to spend time exercising, time reading the scriptures, time teaching Aspen all the important things in life. Time remembering.
Make Decisions. I have many many decisions I need to make. I need to decide if working a job I love is worth missing out on the people I love. I need to decide how to complete my family. I need to decide how to stress less about money. I have a hard time making changes and making decisions. I feel like if I am not working, I don’t have worth. And I wouldn’t know how to fill my worth. I base a lot of it in working hard and making a difference. I don’t see being a stay at home mom as not worthwhile, but It never made me feel like I had any worth either. When I was a stay at home mom, I never felt great about myself. I want another child. At least one more. Everytime someone else announces they are pregnant, I feel an empty hole that can’t be healed. I wonder why not me, I wonder if I’m jut not good enough, I wonder if I am just meant to have one child. Children are expensive to adopt (as my friends who have adopted can attest to) and all the ways to be able to get me to be able to carry a child are beyond what we can afford, especially if I made my earlier decision to be a stay at home mom. There would be no way to afford it. So we are left to prayer, and being grateful we have one child.
Aspen- My busy BUSY 5 year old. I love her little smile, and her warm hugs, and everytime she says “alright mom, it’s snuggle time” she sets up required times for snuggling. She loves to be held and loved on. Her favorite thing right now is her new Christmas present (video coming…) and she is remarkably responsible with it. She does not like to hear people argue or fight, she is VERY sensitive. She has a very sensitive heart and if you raise your voice at her, she tells you that you broke her heart. She likes dancing, singing, gymnastics, and LOVES her friends Hayden and Audrey. She says boys are mean, but then turns around and says she is going to marry them. Example, the other day when I picked her up after work she said “mom, a cowboy drove my bus today and he was cute. I’m going to marry him, but he might be a little too old for me.” She is kind and loving, but also you can tell she is an only child…spend a little time with her and you will know what I am talking about. We would love another child, but since no such blessing has come our way, we do the best we can with her. She is super smart and already reads. She is in the top 90th percentile of all kindergartners in Utah. She is learning how to manage the Wii well on Mario Cart and it’s fun, she can play with us now and she loves it. She doesn’t play with toys, no matter how much I try to get her too. She will play with stuffed animals, but not barbies and dolls unless a friend insists that’s what they want to do. She will do puzzles, or play computer learning games. She likes to keep her mind busy. She didn’t ask for a single toy for Christmas except when I said “Are you SURE you don’t want ANY toys?” Then she said, ok, maybe a barbie with a barbie truck and swimming pool. But mostly she wanted stuffed animals and games. And any animal you can name. She really wants another hedgehog, another cat, a dog, a horse, another bunny, you name the animal and I’m sure she wants it. She keeps telling us she wants to be a Vet when she grows up. She says the most thoughtful prayers and always prays for those who don’t have as much as we do. Her favorite food is sushi and CANDY. I can’t keep her away from candy to save my life. It’s no wonder she always has a cough. I try hiding it and it’s like she has her own personal stash hidden away. She likes wearing necklaces, belts, cardigans and boots. She has a special place in my heart.
Satisfied – learning to be satisfied with who I am, what I look like, my lack of talents, my life. This is an area I need a ton of work in and plan to work on it this year. I want to learn to be satisfied with what I have instead of jealous of the things I don’t have. I have so much to be thankful for. Ashton, Aspen, my fabulous family, the gift of the Gospel. Sometimes I forget to stop comparing myself to everyone else and just be thankful for what I have and who I am. I am a girl with a huge heart. I hide it behind a face of fear, because I am afraid of what other would think of me if they saw how sensitive I really am. I am a girl who would do anything to save someone else from pain. Often times as a child if I heard someone was really sick, I would pray that God would let me take their pain away from them. I hate seeing people hurting. I am a girl who though I don’t have a perfect body, or perfect looks tries to remember there are others worse off. I am blessed with two feet that can run, two eyes that can see, and two ears that can hear. I am a Child Of God.
Happy Holidays! May God Bless you every one.
Home – I love being home. It is no wonder that I am a bit of a hermit. I love just being able to be home and keep my house clean, curl up on the couch and watch a good movie, or read a good book, cuddle with Aspen, or just sitting staring out the window. There are not many places I feel like I can just be me. Not many places where I can feel like no one is judging me. Not many places where I just feel peace. Home was a great place to be this Christmas. Aspen and I spent most of the weekend at home and enjoyed our time together. I took 3 days off work just to be able to be home. (Don’t get me wrong…it WAS Christmas afterall, we did go places, and shopping, but the moment we could, we spent at home and I loved it!)
Rest, Rejuvenate, Remember – I didn’t get as much rest as I wanted to, but I DID rest from work. I didn’t touch anything that even resembled work from Thursday on, I didn’t check emails, I hardly checked facebook. I let my brain rest and read the Hunger Games series (very good). I feel slightly rejuvenated. Being away from work was the best thing for me this Christmas. It’s been much too much of a downer for me lately. I spent what time I was able to remembering my dad, remembering past family Christmas’ and trying to make memories of this Christmas. The best memory I want to hold onto this Christmas was Aspen opening up her Christmas gift ( I will try to upload a video for all to see).
Ideas – I had so many ideas of things I wanted to do for Christmas, sadly the only one that got done was the Christmas shopping and spending time at home with Aspen watching Christmas movies. I wanted to have this book I have been working on for my family done by Christmas. I have gathered stories about my dad, photos, stories my mom told me of their courtship, and years together, any letters I can find that he wrote, journal entries, anything having to do with my dad and I put it all together in a book (or at least I’m working on doing that) and I was going to have them ready for my family to purchase for Christmas, but I didn’t get it done. That’s ok, no reason to rush something so special. I also wanted to see Temple Square this year. We have been so busy it just didn’t happen. And Sunday came and went and by the time we got home to get ready for church from families Christmas morning, we missed our ward. I was sad to not make it to church on Christmas Sunday especially. But I did spend some much needed time with Aspen and Ashton.
School – Starts back up in 2 weeks, and though I am not looking forward to it, I’m looking forward to being done. I will be finished with all but one class by this time next year. Too bad I took this last semester off or I would be FINISHED by fall! I would have gone crazy trying to work the hours I did and do school. Ashton finishes school this next semester (unless he decides to go back for his masters) we couldn’t be more happy to have this school thing coming to an end. The end is in sight – at least for now. :0)
Temple, treats, time – I am working really hard at putting aside one day a month (I know it’s not a lot!) to go to the temple. I need to be there. I feel a loss when I am not attending. My New Years goal is to at least get my butt there once a month this next year if not more. I need the blessings it will bring to my life. I plan to set aside treats more this year and eat healthier. I feel better, my family feels better, and we all look better. We will have to find a way to make healthy treats. I hope to make more time for things that matter. Spending time with my family, time getting to know myself, time watching Aspen grow instead of missing it, time improving my talents, time sitting quietly and reflecting. Time goes so quickly and before I know it, I’ve ran out of it and all my good intentions, all my plans go to naught. I need to spend time exercising, time reading the scriptures, time teaching Aspen all the important things in life. Time remembering.
Make Decisions. I have many many decisions I need to make. I need to decide if working a job I love is worth missing out on the people I love. I need to decide how to complete my family. I need to decide how to stress less about money. I have a hard time making changes and making decisions. I feel like if I am not working, I don’t have worth. And I wouldn’t know how to fill my worth. I base a lot of it in working hard and making a difference. I don’t see being a stay at home mom as not worthwhile, but It never made me feel like I had any worth either. When I was a stay at home mom, I never felt great about myself. I want another child. At least one more. Everytime someone else announces they are pregnant, I feel an empty hole that can’t be healed. I wonder why not me, I wonder if I’m jut not good enough, I wonder if I am just meant to have one child. Children are expensive to adopt (as my friends who have adopted can attest to) and all the ways to be able to get me to be able to carry a child are beyond what we can afford, especially if I made my earlier decision to be a stay at home mom. There would be no way to afford it. So we are left to prayer, and being grateful we have one child.
Aspen- My busy BUSY 5 year old. I love her little smile, and her warm hugs, and everytime she says “alright mom, it’s snuggle time” she sets up required times for snuggling. She loves to be held and loved on. Her favorite thing right now is her new Christmas present (video coming…) and she is remarkably responsible with it. She does not like to hear people argue or fight, she is VERY sensitive. She has a very sensitive heart and if you raise your voice at her, she tells you that you broke her heart. She likes dancing, singing, gymnastics, and LOVES her friends Hayden and Audrey. She says boys are mean, but then turns around and says she is going to marry them. Example, the other day when I picked her up after work she said “mom, a cowboy drove my bus today and he was cute. I’m going to marry him, but he might be a little too old for me.” She is kind and loving, but also you can tell she is an only child…spend a little time with her and you will know what I am talking about. We would love another child, but since no such blessing has come our way, we do the best we can with her. She is super smart and already reads. She is in the top 90th percentile of all kindergartners in Utah. She is learning how to manage the Wii well on Mario Cart and it’s fun, she can play with us now and she loves it. She doesn’t play with toys, no matter how much I try to get her too. She will play with stuffed animals, but not barbies and dolls unless a friend insists that’s what they want to do. She will do puzzles, or play computer learning games. She likes to keep her mind busy. She didn’t ask for a single toy for Christmas except when I said “Are you SURE you don’t want ANY toys?” Then she said, ok, maybe a barbie with a barbie truck and swimming pool. But mostly she wanted stuffed animals and games. And any animal you can name. She really wants another hedgehog, another cat, a dog, a horse, another bunny, you name the animal and I’m sure she wants it. She keeps telling us she wants to be a Vet when she grows up. She says the most thoughtful prayers and always prays for those who don’t have as much as we do. Her favorite food is sushi and CANDY. I can’t keep her away from candy to save my life. It’s no wonder she always has a cough. I try hiding it and it’s like she has her own personal stash hidden away. She likes wearing necklaces, belts, cardigans and boots. She has a special place in my heart.
Satisfied – learning to be satisfied with who I am, what I look like, my lack of talents, my life. This is an area I need a ton of work in and plan to work on it this year. I want to learn to be satisfied with what I have instead of jealous of the things I don’t have. I have so much to be thankful for. Ashton, Aspen, my fabulous family, the gift of the Gospel. Sometimes I forget to stop comparing myself to everyone else and just be thankful for what I have and who I am. I am a girl with a huge heart. I hide it behind a face of fear, because I am afraid of what other would think of me if they saw how sensitive I really am. I am a girl who would do anything to save someone else from pain. Often times as a child if I heard someone was really sick, I would pray that God would let me take their pain away from them. I hate seeing people hurting. I am a girl who though I don’t have a perfect body, or perfect looks tries to remember there are others worse off. I am blessed with two feet that can run, two eyes that can see, and two ears that can hear. I am a Child Of God.
Happy Holidays! May God Bless you every one.
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