Thanksgiving

We spent thanksgiving at Ashton's parents yesterday. It was a good day. We ate great food, played lots of games, and Aspen was actually pretty good. Then we went to Enchanted, much to Ashton's dismay and my interest. I LOVED it and he thought it was a chick flick. I laughed so hard. But of course, if you know me, I always laugh at anything. I find something funny in just about anything, and usually in a theatre I'm the only one lauging, or the loudest, because no matter what I try, I can't laugh quietly, or it just comes out my nose. Guess I just have a good sense of humor...or a silly one. Either way.

I have been out of the habit of saying my own prayers at night after family prayers, an decided yesterday for Thanksgiving, to get back in the habit of Thanking my father in Heaven more. It felt really nice to get on my knees and htalk to Him, and let him know all I was thankful for, and especially that I was missing my dad a lot right now, but that I was thankful for how much He has sustained all of my family through this ordeal.

I am thankful for opportunities that help me to grow. And although I think I have had more of the "Refiners fire" than I was prepared to have this year, I am thankful for the growth I have had.

I'm thankful for my sweet husband who gave me a super nice Canon Rebel XTI Camera for my birthday and told me he wants me to go take photography classes because he knows how much I have become interested in the arts, grapic arts, anything computer, animation, etc. All these things are things I have never in my life been much interested in, but my dad always loved them and pursued them, and I think I have begun to have an interest because it helps me to feel closer to him. So I am really an amature at it all, but I hope to get better, and maybe I'll be able to share as I go along in this life journey. So if I post something that isn't that great, just know it's just practice. Feel free to tell me how to make it better!

Growing up fast

movie of her writing.avi

Posted to utube on November 18, 2007

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Don't let the cute "cheese" at the beginning fool you...she's a stinker who only likes things "her way" But she can be really sweet too...when she wants. I'm not sure if this movie thing will work or not. I've never tried it before. Grandma's been trying to teach her how to do things the "right way" and for Aspen, there is only one "right way" and that's "Her way" Ha!

She's been really sad and missing her grandpa lately. It's been really interesting to watch her, because she will see a picture of him, and try to get to him and cry "bampa" over and over. It's sad to see. We still miss him so much. The Holiday's I'm afraid will be a little more difficult. I thought it was getting easier for a bit, but it hits at the strangest times. Mostly during church when we sing hymns though, and I have to get up and walk out. Ah life! What would we do without the "refiners fires" we go through?

Funeral

Slowly getting back

It's been a long week. I have had plenty time and plenty opportunities to write in my blog, but I just haven't had the "umph" to do anything. The funeral for my dad was really beautiful. It was a very emotional day. A Lot of family came. My dad was a very special guy, everyone who knew him loved him. It was a HUGE shock when he died. No one expected it at all. I don't know if death is harder when it is expected or not. Maybe it's hard no matter what. This is the first death of someone I am close to. I never knew my grandparents, so it didn't affect me when they passed away. I was too young. But with my dad; this was hard. It still is hard. It's getting better everyday...or we just accept it a little more each day. I'm not really sure. I just know I still miss him very much. The day I got the call that he had passed away was a very hard day. It is a strange feeling to have a parent die...or anyone close to you I suppose. I don't know if my experience with death is the same as others or not. It was the worst pain I've felt, and yet the most peaceful feeling I've felt. It felt as though time stood still for a moment. I could almost feel my dad with me, but I knew he had passed over to the "other side" also. The reality was more overwhelming to me than the peace was. I went to see my dad's mom after I found out, and my Uncle David was there, and he looks so much like my dad, it made me miss him more. It was nice to go and hold my grandmas hand and cry on her lap. She's the dearest woman in the world. At 102, she is still comforting others! What an amazing strong lady.

Weve really come together as a family. It's nice to have a big family to comfort each other. I know we have to get back to life and carry on, but it is really hard. It's going to seem like a long time and lots of Holiday's without him. It's a strange thing. I thought I would for sure be in my 40's before I lost a parent. He will be missed. Very missed. I guess this is long. I just needed to remember. And to write it down. Thank you to all who have sent flowers, food, prayers. It is all very appreciated.