I'm tired. I have my plate full. I'm tired of wearing the same 3 outfits for the 3rd week in a row due to living out of a box at my brothers until our house is done...thought we would be in way before now, and only left 3 outfits out of packing... I'm tired of going to school full time (I have a seriously full semester with hard classes this semester), going to work full time, and having very LITTLE time to actually spend with Aspen. I know this is just a phase, so it's ok. I just wanted to whine and get it out of my system.
Actually, things aren't sooo bad when I look at it as a whole. The only time I really feel like I wrote above is days like yesterday when Aspen says "Mom I just want you to tell your teachers and boss that you need to spend the day with your little girl." Then I start wondering if I'm a good mom and if I'm really doing what I should be doing.
I have to remind myself that this is short term. It will be done soon and I will be glad I finished. I really want to get my college degree and I think it will be really beneficial in the long run. And I wouldn't work if I didn't feel like it's the right thing for me to be doing right now. I don't know why I feel like I need this job right now, but I feel like i'm in the right place doing the right thing...so I will keep plugging along and remember that it's just short term. I just hope that in the "Short term" stage...I don't miss too much of Aspen growing up. Especially since she is my only "baby". But I know I am missing some of it....she is growing so fast! She starts kindergarten this next fall, and it's sad to see her grow so fast. I love her with all my heart and soul. She can drive me crazy faster than anyone, but she also melts my heart faster than anyone. The other day she brought me a little sticky note and said "Write This is my girl Aspen at the top please" so I did, and a few minutes later she brought it back to me with a drawing of a girl on it and said "This is for you to look at when you aren't with me, so you remember me." It made my heart melt. I told her I always remember her because she is my little princess, my everything. But you can bet that I keep that sticky note with me, because it is so precious. I'm including in this post that precious sticky note. She is so kind, and so considerate of others feelings. If I accidentally step on her foot, or scoot a chair over and it bonks her on the head, or she runs into something and I say "Oh Aspen, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to do that" even if she is crying she is quick to say "It wasn't your fault, it was the chairs" (or the shoe, or the wall....) but she never blames me for anything-she is very conscious of making sure I don't feel bad about it...even if it was my fault. I love her more than life!
Guess after all...this isn't much of a whine post. Glad I have so much to be thankful for!
