If I could save time in a bottle...

Today Aspen begged to spend the night at her Grandmas house. Something she has done A LOT in her life. She adores her Grandma Peck and spends many hours making her do her bidding. She can be a very demanding child, and Grandma more often then not lets her get away with it. Grandma gave her the ok to spend the night, and as I was leaving my moms, the realization struck me that this would be one of Aspens last weeknight sleepovers until summer. She starts kindergarten next week and will have to wait until the weekends to have any more sleepovers. It was such a strange idea to me that I had to stop and take a deep breath. I know that everyday she is growing older, but there is a small ache in my heart for how fast it is all going. It's hard for me to picture her as a baby anymore. She was so tiny! I thought she'd never grow, and then it happened so quickly, I hardly noticed all the changes. When did her hands stop being tiny cherub hands? When did she get tall enough to reach the sink? I wish so much that I had the time to watch all these tiny changes, but time never slows for long. So often I wish I could just still time, make it so I don't miss a moment of her growing older, but I know by tomorrow I will have work to go to, dishes to wash, books to read, letters to write, a house to clean, and all the while she will keep growing. I hope that I am making what I can of the moments I have with her. I know that so often I don't use my time with her as wisely as I could. So often I am so exhausted when I get home from work and school that I just want me time...But i'm never going to get these moments with her back. It's made me stop and rethink some decisions I'm making in my life right now. I'm desperately trying to decide if I'm going to go back to school this next semester. i still have at least a year and a half to two years of schooling left. But Aspen will be in kindergarten this year. The last year she will ever only go to school half day. If I take classes, to fit it in my work schedule I have to go early mornings and late nights. When does that leave any time for Aspen? So I'm thinking I might take this year off so I can get off work at 3 or 4 and spend the rest of the day with her. It's a hard decision. It will put me way behind my graduating class. I will have to put a lot of thought and prayer into it. I just don't want to lose out on the rest of her "baby" years. I don't know if Kindergarten still counts as a baby year...but to me it does. Anyway, lots of thoughts. The words to the following song kept running through my head today.


Songwriters: CROCE, JAMES

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with