me and this and that

I don't often post much about Ashton and I...as far as our relationship goes. I read all these blogs where women talk about their husbands and how much they love them, etc. And then I feel like a shmuck of a wife. Let's not even get started on the blogs that talk about being stay at home moms...

The fact of the matter is...marriage has not been easy for us. And I know everyone has marriage struggles. However, not everyone (Some...) has their husband leave after three months of marriage, and come home a year and a half later to a one year old. Nor has everyone (Some...) had to have a baby alone while their husband is sacrificing for our country - and raise it for the first year by themselves. Now I'm not whining. It is what it is and we have pulled through. I'm just saying it hasn't been even slightly easy...we didn't get that "Honeymoon year" newlyweds experience. In fact, we haven't ever gotten that "Honeymoon" phase at all. And I think it's needed in marriages.

It's taken us time...a lot of time...to get to know each other again. It's a lot more complicated when you have a child who interrupts you everytime you try to talk to one another. We both changed a TON when Ashton went to Iraq. And things haven't always been great. But we have worked hard at it and it's starting to pay off. Let me tell you a little about my husband. Since you probably won't ever hear him talk much if you meet him. He's SMART! SUPER smart in fact. He is a hard worker, he's a great father...he knows how to set rules and boundaries. Something I am not great at. He cooks - he has NEVER ONCE in our whole marriage complained that I do NOT cook. I've only cooked maybe 10 meals in our 5 years of marriage. The rest has been him. He's a fantastic cook. He cans! Seriously, the guy does all our food storage, and he's GOOD at it. He does our grocery shopping. He cleans (not great at getting the clothes folded :0) but he's actually been working on that (and let's face it...I don't fold clothes either very often. Let's not even get started at what I'm not good at...toilets, mirrors...and so on...) He knows how to make beautiful furniture, he tries hard to make me happy, and supports me in all my crazy ideas and talents. He fills up my tank with gas when it's low because he knows I hate to do it. He lets me sleep practically on top of him all night because I like to snuggle really close when I sleep. He thinks I can do anything I set my mind to, he listens to me talk non stop. He GARDENS and loves it. I can't keep anything alive. He takes out the trash every Sunday night. He makes me crepes on Sundays because he knows I love them. With real whipped cream, and strawberries. He teaches Aspen big words and how to do math...at 4! And my favorite thing...he is super funny when he does talk. He always makes me laugh out loud.

All I can say is I'm spoiled. I'm thankful he's willing to work on our marriage. I'm thankful he is patient with me because I can be very thick headed and stubborn as all get out. I'm thankful that he loves me. I love him! He's been fantastic to Aspen and I, and works hard to make us happy. I just hope that I do something for him...because when I stop to look at it all...it looks like he does it all, and I'm not so sure what I do to deserve him.

I've been in a little bit of a slump the past few days. I quit my Virtual Assisting business...after 15 YEARS! I just decided that coming home from work and still having more work to do was NOT worth it. I wanted time with Aspen in the evenings. Now it means tighter budgeting though, and I'm sure it will be worth it...but it's hard when you get use to living one way and have to do it a different way. I need to go through and figure out what we need to cut out (besides all our going out to eat...) I also have really been wanting to decorate and organize our house, but I'm retarded when it comes to decorating-especially on a budget. I wish I had a good eye for things like that...and that I could sew to make things, or knew how to shop smart so I can find things to organize with for cheap. Ugh. I need to develop some new talents. It's going to be a fresh start this year for me, so maybe I'll get a break and be able to work on other things besides my computer for the first time in 15 years!! It will be fantastic!!

Anyway, just had a lot on my mind today.