It's been a long week. I have had plenty time and plenty opportunities to write in my blog, but I just haven't had the "umph" to do anything. The funeral for my dad was really beautiful. It was a very emotional day. A Lot of family came. My dad was a very special guy, everyone who knew him loved him. It was a HUGE shock when he died. No one expected it at all. I don't know if death is harder when it is expected or not. Maybe it's hard no matter what. This is the first death of someone I am close to. I never knew my grandparents, so it didn't affect me when they passed away. I was too young. But with my dad; this was hard. It still is hard. It's getting better everyday...or we just accept it a little more each day. I'm not really sure. I just know I still miss him very much. The day I got the call that he had passed away was a very hard day. It is a strange feeling to have a parent die...or anyone close to you I suppose. I don't know if my experience with death is the same as others or not. It was the worst pain I've felt, and yet the most peaceful feeling I've felt. It felt as though time stood still for a moment. I could almost feel my dad with me, but I knew he had passed over to the "other side" also. The reality was more overwhelming to me than the peace was. I went to see my dad's mom after I found out, and my Uncle David was there, and he looks so much like my dad, it made me miss him more. It was nice to go and hold my grandmas hand and cry on her lap. She's the dearest woman in the world. At 102, she is still comforting others! What an amazing strong lady.
Weve really come together as a family. It's nice to have a big family to comfort each other. I know we have to get back to life and carry on, but it is really hard. It's going to seem like a long time and lots of Holiday's without him. It's a strange thing. I thought I would for sure be in my 40's before I lost a parent. He will be missed. Very missed. I guess this is long. I just needed to remember. And to write it down. Thank you to all who have sent flowers, food, prayers. It is all very appreciated.
2 comments:
Shanda, you are one amazing women! You are a strength to those around you. Always remember that! No matter what happens to you in life, I know that you will stay strong.
Keep in touch and call me if you need someone to talk to. We will continue to pray for you and your family. We love you!
I am so glad you are back. I kept checking your blog hoping to hear your sweet words. I am so sorry about your loss, it must be hard to lose a parent. You are a strong woman and you understand the eternal plan, which can help us get through times like these. You are a dear friend and your in my heart and prayers. Please know that I am here for you when you need. Love you!
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